Bear Withdrawal

I realized today that the primary reason that I've been so anxious and uptight recently is because I am experiencing bear withdrawal. There's been a general lack of bears in my life these past few weeks, and it's starting to show. I used to be surrounded in bears, but now I've scarcely seen a single one in ages. They no longer roam the streets of New York looking for salmon and a place to hibernate, as they once did. There are no longer any bears in my apartment, at least none that I can find. They seem to have become utterly absent from my life.

So the real question is - where did all the bears go? It could just be their off season (hibernation), but I think the real reason for their disappearance is because of the declining economy. Given the current job market, very few businesses want to hire bears these days. Bears are stereotyped as being unproductive and even destructive at times, and their inability to speak English, or any other language, can be a serious drawback when trying to run a business. Also, their dietary habits, such as eating their co-workers, can sometimes cause companies major financial setbacks. So it stands to reason that when companies are downsizing, the first employees to get fired are always bears.

I blame it on the Bush administration.



- Matthew

On Superheroes and Lonely Robots

For the last several days, I've been trying to pin down what I found so immensely unsettling about "The Dark Knight," and I think I've figured it out - it is the fact that even Batman can save neither his love interest from being blown to pieces nor his city from descending into utter chaos that I find absolutely frighting. Superheroes were once a form of escapism and hope - now they seem just as confused, terrified and human as the rest of us.

It occurred to me that of the last 10 or so movies I've seen, at least half of them have depicted, each in their own way, some sort of nightmarish, post-apocalyptic scenario. Forgive me for making grandiose assertions about societal trends, but it seems to me that this might be some sort of reflection of the times we live in. "Children of Men," "Cloverfield" (which I didn't particularly enjoy), "I am Legend," even the Disney Pixar film "WALL E," which I just saw tonight, all illustrate different scenarios of a very grim future for humanity. There have always been big-budget Hollywood disaster films, but the difference between "King Kong" and "Cloverfield" is that that the former has a happy ending. The two big Oscar winners last year, "No Country For Old Men" and "There Will Be Blood," had a similar effect on me as "The Dark Knight" - they left me perplexed and scared.

"WALL E," which was absolutely brilliant, was not an outwardly frightening movie, but it had some very haunting moments which themselves are worth the twelve dollar ticket price. I can't possibly do it justice; I can only say that I think it was a beautifully made film. I believe what distinguishes it from any other Disney film that I can think of, is that it is not escapism that drives the film, but optimism. I think Hollywood is currently in desperate need of films that are not necessarily about escaping reality, but about the possibility that a brighter reality is still conceivable.


- Matthew

I'm Glad I'm Not Me.

The birthday party turned out rather well. No neighbors, no cops, no swat team, no KGB. Not even any vomit or broken glass, just a small(ish) crowd of very good friends and fun times all around. I even received a few delightful birthday presents, including one very charming wind-up back-flipping yellow monkey (though it might be a mouse in a monkey suit, I'm not sure), who I've appropriately named Napoleon III. I've wanted one of these for years, and have often hinted to friends my desire for one, but it was not until last night that this dream was fulfilled. There is one drawback to this gift, however, which is that it serves as a constant reminder that a wind-up monkey toy is in much better physical shape than I am, and is capable of much more daunting acrobatic feats than I could currently hope to preform. Perhaps it'll be a good incentive for me to quit smoking, though I think the likelihood of that pales in comparison to the likelihood that my monkey toy will start smoking, which, given its lack of opposable thumbs and free will, is not particularly likely.

It's gotten pretty bad. I'm currently in that murky area between half a pack and a pack a day, and I sure as hell don't seem to be cutting back very quickly. As a matter of fact, in a bizarre coincidence, I happen to be smoking a cigarette while writing this very sentence. I have no justification for it, and find myself (as many smokers do) in the situation of being a total hypocrite when it comes to cigarettes. I can only find some solace in the fact that my apparent doppelganger, Mr. Zimmerman, who smoked "100 cigarettes a day" (according to an article quoted in "Don't Look Back") is still alive. After reading the article in the documentary, Dylan responded: "I'm glad I'm not me!" I, like Dylan, am also not me, and very glad of it.

-Matthew